suicide bombing trainer.

I post this post to remember and mourn our lost friend – The suicide bombing trainer Ahmedhudawnedhšsšsšsšsšsšsšsšs the second, he died while training our terrorists. I even remember he’s last words: “Now pay attention, I’m going to show this once and only once.” which also reminds me the prank we pulled off yesterday – we changed Backa-lacka’s  suicide bomb not to blow up instantly after you push the trigger but 10 seconds later. And when he went to blow himself up (we were looking from a safe distance whit our binoculars), IT WAS PRICELESS , the way he was standing there in the middle infidels armored brigade. He kept pushing the trigger whit no effect and i wish i had made picture out of it just before he blew up. He had “WHAT THE FUCK!?!?” written all over he’s face.  We even managed to record he’s last call, i sadly don’t have it in my computer right now but i WILL post it when i get the time but here is what he said: “This piece of shit is not wor…” KABOOM!! Ahh, it’s just one of the things that makes you glad you were able to live to see it.

Ok, Bye

Guess who’s back…

… back again, I am back and fully healed. I was not able to write sooner cause another patient came in and he was too healthy so instead for using him as new food source he was left whit me to the hospital part till full recovery. But when i asked him what had happened to him, case he looked as if he had been slammed to a concrete wall. He then asked if i remembered the idiot who tried to practice suicide bombing, and sure i remembered him it was way too hard to forget, He then said that the idiot tried to practice it in an underground bunker but what he didn’t know was that the bunker was just under his tent. When i said that i dint quite get it he explained: when the idiot blew himself up the other guy was in the tent sleeping and the explosion threw him in the air. I then asked why didn’t he come earlier, the explosion was about 10 days ago. And he’s answer was  a really strange one, he said that he had just landed yesterday. And that meant that he was falling for about 5 days, and at that point i fainted.

Bye o_0

Sorry for not writing for so long.

The reason I wasn’t writing you for so long is that I was shot few day’s ago. I was depressed because i wasn’t too god at the met shield training, i kept dodging the bullets. So i was depressed and i went to the shooting range in order to kill someone and in that way get some sun in my day. When i made it to the shooting range tho i saw that there were all ready some terrorists training there and so i sat town and w8ed, BIG MISTAKE! i had just sat down when suddenly i was shot and when i woke up again i was in the hospital/butcher house section of the camp. The doctor here was kind enough to bring me my laptop and he didn’t rat me out. I think I’m going to have good time here whit my new friend.

Bye

Spy Training: how to infiltrate a infidel’s base.

Today i took a lesson in spying and so we learned how to infiltrate infidel’s base. Here is hat i learned: 1st – shave you’re beard. 2nd – wear trousers. 3rd – stay inside for few days to turn as pale as an infidel. 4rd – learn to use a fork (thats something like a pitchfork but smaller). 5th – instead of saying “Allah-damit” say “God-Damit”. 6th – speak their mother tongue. 7th – in some locations its rude to walk a round whit a weapons so sometimes hide it.

Man that training was so much fun, we then all tried to look as infidel as possible. I think i was good at it but not nearly as good as one other guy called Ahmašdarghhheman-indehhargimaantreeghiuljany, he was so good that he got shot because everybody were thinking that he was a infidel.  Well thats all for today, i hope to find some time to write more.

Bye

My first day in training.

Yes it IS my first day in training. You might have noticed that my last post was on 22nd and this post is on 24th but it’s because i was given a “roommate” and I’m now not able to post so often (the guy fell asleep at 11.45 am, for f*** sake.). so its … 00.01 in the morning and, yes, it’s 24th by now but who cares it’s not the point of this post. Why i wanted to post this post is to tell you about my first day in training. This place is actually very well worked trough. There are several training you could take for example you could take the suicide bombing, meat shield, spy or some of the many other trainings. There are so many different trainings that I’m thinking to try all of them, of course the only thing I’m not going to try is the suicide bombing. You probably think why I’m not taking the suicide bombing training but it’s because one of the guy’s who took the training blew himself up while practicing… he also took 3.8% of the camp whit him. I mean: WHO THE HELL WOULD PRACTICE SUICIDE BOMBING! But at least we learned something from him : location, location, location. well it IS late so I’m going to sleep now.

Bye.

This plase is carazy o_0

I was spending my day today when i stumbled upon the shooting range. The shooting range they have here is very much different from the one in home, instead of shooting targets there were too teams shooting at each other behind sandbag walls. There were even may sign telling you that “if you “train” here you weather win and be rewarded or you die in the name of Allah”, “Use real bullets only”, “if you get shot just fall to the ground and hope the other team wont come to look if everybody are dead”, “Don’t kill your teammates”, “don’t kill bystanders”, “If you’re team wins make sure that everybody in the other team are dead” and “use of missiles, grenades and suicide bombs are not allowed”. But the most stupid thing about it is the fact that its in the middle of the camp so there is 45% possibility that you get shot from a ricochets and 36% that some idiot just shoots you. It’s not even 24 hours from the first time i came here and I’m all ready thinking if this was a mistake.

Bye

Hello My seacret laptop!

Hello, my laptop. It’s me Hašim – I at last made it to the Terrorist’s training camp and I’m happy whit what I see . This place is mostly made out of tents and so but there are also many “lair’s” hidden in the nearby cliff. There is also a underground bunker, garage and missile silo. The people here are mostly quiet and look angry but i REALLY hope that they are so angry at me because I’m new around here and they learn to like me in the end. I’m not going to too any training today instead I’m going to look around the camp and learn to maneuver around here. If something happens today then I’m going to tell you this. Damn, i hear someone coming i need to end fast and hide my laptop (these things aren’t allowed in here i guess Allah is no likeing them)

Bye